“Bold indeed must that man be who would dare to say that we may keep our self-righteousness, our sins, our laziness, and our love of the world, and yet be saved? I grant it costs much to be a true Christian. But who in his sound senses can doubt that it is worth any cost to have the soul saved? When the ship is in danger of sinking, the crew think nothing of casting overboard the precious cargo. When a limb is mortified, a man will submit to any severe operation, and even to amputation, to save life. Surely a Christian should be willing to give up anything which stands between him and heaven. A religion that costs nothing is worth nothing! A cheap Christianity, without a cross, will prove in the end a useless Christianity, without a cross.”
In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul addresses the issue of marriage and singleness in response to some questions that the Corinthians had. The point of his exhortation was this:
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; 31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. 1 Cor 7:29-31 (KJV)
What Paul said applies to all, whether married or unmarried. He is not teaching that marriage and marital duties should be neglected, or that we should not experience sorrows and joys, but that our attitude towards earthly things should change. We ought to remember that marriage is something of this time, and that sorrows and joys are temporary. The life of a believer should be lived with eternity in perspective, not setting our hearts on earthly things that heavenly and spiritual matters become secondary because the fascination of the world is passing away. I like the way Charles Spurgeon put it:
“Believe me, there is nothing here that is worthy of your pursuit. If you give your soul up to anything earthly, whether it be the wealth, or the honours, or the pleasures of this world, you might as well hunt after the mirage of the desert or try to collect the mists of the morning, or to store up for yourself the clouds of the sky, for all these things are passing away.”
The single Christian woman must view the single years in light of all these things. That time is not meant to be a time wasted on the trivialities of the world; rather it should be a time that is spent cultivating a deep relationship with God, pursuing holiness, and developing and using her God-given gifts for the edification of the church and for the glory of God. The single season is such a wonderful gift from God, even though sometimes it may not seem like it. For the single woman, the period of singleness is a call to a life of commitment and undivided devotion to the Lord and service to Him. You have been provided with the opportunity to give a unique level of devotion to the things of the Lord...
34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. 1 Cor 7:34-35 (KJV)
The married woman has the duty of caring for her family all for the glory of God, while the single woman is free from the demands and anxieties of marriage and family and is able to consecrate herself entirely to the service of the Lord. The words of Paul do not in any way diminish the married state, nor does he imply that marriage prevents greater devotion to the Lord. However, marriage does bring with it more things that could interfere with our devotion to God, but singleness, though it should have (I say should have because the world we live in today bombards us with so many distractions and temptations that distract us from serving and honouring God, whether single or married) fewer hindrances, does not necessarily mean greater spiritual virtue. Paul’s words should be an encouragement and a comfort to the single woman.
The question now is this: How does a single woman cultivate undistracted devotion to the Lord and His service? This can be achieved through the diligent study of God’s word and through prayer. The single Christian woman ought to become a theologian (as a matter of fact, every Christian ought to be a theologian, knowing the word of God and hiding it in your heart)! In order to live rightly in the single years, she needs to develop a deep understanding of God and His ways which He has revealed to us in Scriptures. We cannot know God, serve Him properly and grow in the faith if we do not study His word. You have a unique opportunity to be a student of God’s word. This time should be used to study the word in all eagerness, deliberateness and faithfulness. I know we are all busy doing things, including studying, working etc, but as much as these may be legitimate demands on our time, we need to get our priorities in order. The single woman has a degree of freedom to choose how she spends her time and I urge you to make studying God’s word a priority...
15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Tim 2:15 (KJV)
Singleness is not a calling to an extended state of adolescence and immaturity; rather it is a time whereby we can display the truth about Christ by living our single lives in devotion to God and His word. Sisters (and any brothers that may be reading), let your single life be one that is God-honouring, of holiness, both in body and in spirit, setting your minds on things above and not on things of the world. Don’t waste your singlehood!
Everyone spends a considerable amount of our lives in the single season; however, most Christian women don’t seem to have an idea of what to do with their single years. We either spend this time wishing we were in another season i.e. marriage (why does the grass always look greener on the other side), or we spend it living selfishly for ourselves, looking to the world’s ideals of the “independent woman”. In any case, it is important that we know how to make the most of this season of our lives to the glory of God...
31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Cor 10:31 (KJV)
17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Col 3:17 (KJV)
The period of singleness brings with it its unique trials for our sanctification and opportunities for Christian service that we would not otherwise have as married women. We need to recognise this and learn to respond to such trials and to seize such opportunities. I am far from being an expert on this but, in this series, I am going to try and address this issue of singleness by sharing with you what I have learnt from the scriptures and from others much wiser than myself. I am still learning myself so your thoughts and comments are all welcome.
I'm asking myself that same question...
Please pray for our persecuted brothers and sisters all over the world.
36 And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment: 37 They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented; 38 (Of whom the world was not worthy:) Heb 11:36-38 (KJV)
18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. 19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. 20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also. 21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sakeJohn 15:18-21 (KJV)
"In order to learn what it means to be a woman, we must start with the One who made her."
The first time I read this book I am not sure I truly appreciated how much wisdom Elisabeth Elliot had to share about what it means to be a godly woman. Through loving letters to her daughter, Elisabeth Elliot shows us what it means to be a woman the way God designed us to be and teaches us to appreciate this calling that God has called us to by tackling tough issues including: the single life, submission, self discipline, masculinity vs. femininity, what makes a marriage work.
I just finished reading it again and this is one book I would recommend to all women pursuing biblical womanhood; young, old, single, married or widowed, whatever stage of life you are in. This book helped me to learn to appreciate how the differences between male and female bring glory to God.
(To get a copy of this book check out the "My Books" widget on the right side of the blog for a link)
"The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman. For I have accepted God's idea of me, and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that I am and all that He wants me to be." ~ Elisabeth Elliot
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